Sound of letting go

There are these moments in life when you just look back and realise how far you've come. And then you just feel fucking amazing. You feel alive. You never thought that you can reach a certain goal until you reached it. It's not about the others. It's not about the environment. It's about yourself. We all know that everything we wanna achieve in life lies inside ourselves. Sometimes it's hard to believe that it's really that easy. But since you figure out that it is - life becomes so much more fun. Because it's really not as hard as you always thought. 

I've been struggling with self-confidence my whole life. People always thought that I was super confident, but that was just another mask. It's hard to realise this, but it makes me feel so much better, because I can let it go. Letting go is the most amazing feeling in the world, because it's so pure. It's easy. 

So I don't really know how long I've been struggling with my appearance in this life, but it's been a lot. It took me so long to realise that letting go is the only way to achieve something. Needing nothing attracts everything. I always wanted to look like all these fucking skinny bitches from the magazines. But since I was fourteen years old society abused me by giving me the pill for birth control. I will not write about how much I hated it and that it changed me completely, because that's also another thing I wanna let go. But after 8 years of using this medication I now know better. I had so much stress while I was working in the conference hotel in Germany that I lost like 10 kilograms. Everyone asked me how I did it, because everyone knew me like the thickly girl I was. I don't wanna go back even more in my past to all these haters in puberty, because they don't deserve my energy. Stress is very bad. First it feels good that you loose weight because of this, but then you realise that you are not healthy. 

Our main goal in life should be health. It's the only thing that we can destroy so early and it's fucking hard to get it back the older we get. And I don't wanna be one of these old fat ladies who are just hating on beautiful young people, because they did wrong when they were in their youth and now we get the result of their hate. Thank you. I'm forever proud and lucky that everything that I realised helped me to get out of this social depression. So it's not about just looking good, of course. It's about feeling good. And as soon as you feel good, you wanna share it. Because you think that all people should feel the same. This is why I have become vegan. 

This life is way too short to struggle and to suffer all the time. Man, I've been through so much suffering in my life in so many different aspects. That's history now. I wanna look forward. So after being vegetarian for more than a year and almost feeling better and of course seeing results in my physics I knew that the last step to a healthy and beautiful body is becoming vegan. Man, you cannot imagine what it feels like. You know that I abused drugs to open my mind in various ways, but being vegan is the fucking most amazing drug you can ever imagine. I'm high on life. 

It's sounds so easy, this is why I just use very easy words, because there is not much to understand. You just have to listen to your body. Everything makes sense now. It's just logical. All my life I wanted to have a flat tummy. So I pulled the belly all the time. It's as well funny as scary that I was not even honest to myself when I was naked in the bathroom. But that's alright, because know I can see many things differently. Finally let it go. 

So now I'm a vegan girl. I feel I'm going through my second puberty which feels as well amazing as unusual. I have pimples like a 13-year-old. Finally all this shit can come out. All the lies they told me and all the fake words I've been swallowing. I sweat the fuck off like a woman in the menopause. I'm even more emotional than before. But that's all right, because I finally know why. It's not normal like people told you all your life. It's all because of what you put in your mouth. You are what you eat. If you eat healthy you will recognise that you don't have spots in your face or acne or pimples all over your back or whatever. It's because of the nutrition. And finally I know about this. I'm 23 and I'm fucking proud that I pulled the emergency brake with that age. So as I'm vegan now I finally see all the mistakes and failures I did. Let it go.

It's the sound of letting go. You just have to wait patiently. Your body heals itself. You cannot make it faster if you put on fucking expensive creams or products from pharmacy. It's all about the food we put inside of us. Let go of everything you think you know about food. And unlearn everything. Have a fresh start. Everyday. It's not as hard as you think. You just have to take the first step. And as I know that many people who read this right now still struggle or have been struggling with their weight or their appearance in general, I wanna help you. Read my story. Be a part of my life and see the change. I wanna be a leader for all the people I used to know and the ones I will get to know on my further journey. 

Let go of rules. Let go of role models. Let go of the fucking society. It's all a big lie. If you wanna hear it or not, it is. But I cannot tell you, you have to experience  it yourself. I don't wanna push you. I just wanna let you read my story and think about it. And then let go. Let all go. Letting go is the first step of healing. Your body is amazing, it heals itself, you just have to wait. If you want it or not... The more you try to push your body the more it will retire. And now I finally know why my lucky number is 17. Because in Thailand the symbol for veggies is the 17. It was such a beautiful moment when I was sitting in Vegan Heaven in Chiang Mai in North Thailand and saw this on the menu. And even the spot in my left hand, it's a V. V for vegan. 

It's the answer to all my questions. Now I'm in the midst of a fucking amazing transformation. My body heals itself. I don't wanna pop my pimples anymore, because the more I try to achieve something, the longer it takes. Let it go. Just relax. It will all come in the right time in the right place. And that's the most beautiful thing about it. It will happen. Let go of the control you think you have. There is no control in life. Let it go. Things happen if you want it or not. I'm not sure if everyone of you saw the latest interviews of Jim Carrey on the internet. People say that he's going insane or that he lost his mind. I think Jim Carrey is one of the few who fucking exactly knows what he is talking about. Let go of unhealthy habits and of all the conditionings. Let it go!

I feel I hear symphonies in my head since I really listen to my body. It tells me what to do. I can just follow my intuition. It's so easy. I just follow my energy and it leads me the way. Forget words like awakening or enlightenment, it's just called deep listening. Let go of all the social conditionings. I want you to just do whatever feels good for you. But as I know that many of you have health disorders out there, I wanna show you how I improve everything that I was always asking for. Give me some time and I will show you the results. I just take myself as an experiment for whatever I wanna know about humanity. I don't give a fuck anymore. I don't wear a bra or make up anymore. Call me hippie or whatever you want, I call it consciousness. There are no religions we need out there - we just need love. 

Let's take care of each other and help each other, because this is the only reason why we are here on this earth. It's true, you first have to get in contact with yourself, which means that you have to experience nature, because that's you. Nature is home. Since I fed elephants and took a bath with them in the stream I got one of the last lessons of nature. It's not about the height or the cuteness, it's about life. What they call life. I just call it happening. Less human more being. Love. Truth. So many beautiful letters put together so it becomes a word. And then we make a sentence out of it. Fucking hell. Unlearn everything. What you perceive to be is your reality. Thank you Dub FX for your amazingly inspiring lyrics. 

You just have two options in life: accept it or change it. Let go of your suffering, let go of all these fucking social conditionings, let go of yourself. There is no you. It's just the appearance of what you thought you are. You just define yourself over values that society creates for you. Since I've been learning about marketing I just feel so sad about humanity. When I see these huge posters where people are eating KFC spicy wings on a rack while smiling and next to them there is a golden retriever looking sleepy and sad - I could just puke. That's so fucking disgusting!!! Did you ever thought about what you swallow? You swallow all the pain of the killed animals and you swallow all the sadness of the mother who has to give away her baby for your milk in your daily coffee. Think about it. Do you wanna swallow this feelings and fusion them with your cells? I will never forget my last meal at KFC. This was one of the most obnoxious days of my life. I just felt horrible after this. And I was wearing one of these super skinny black high waist jeans that I was not even fitting in. Because size matters, hm?

I let it go. I let go of all these dirty moments in my life. It's history, I cannot change this. I'm sorry for all these animals I have already eaten in my life, but it's history now. There is no way back. The grass is greener on the other side. Stop hating about people who are different than you and start accepting them. But you can just start being tolerant if you start with yourself. 

Let go of all the things you thought you know because people told you so. Go out and experience them yourself. Travel the world. Be humble. And help others helping themselves. Let go of the past. Let go of suffering. I want you to ask yourself one question: what is the point in suffering? It just takes all your energy. And you need your energy to fusion it with others to give something back to this beautiful planet. Go vegan - for the people. Go vegan - for the animals. Go vegan - for the planet. Make a change! Be the change you wanna see in the world. Or like Michael Jackson said it: Heal the world. Make it a better place. For you and for me and the entire human race. Namasté!