Beauty

Dear human beings,

I'm so grateful to be able to write. I'm so grateful to be able to read. And I'm so grateful to be able to reflect myself. I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for being able to feel this amazing feeling what they call gratitude. Gratitude is an attitude. 

Sometimes I ask myself why I deserve all these blessings. How can I have everything and even more? And there are millions out there who are not even sure if they are going to survive this day. I feel so much compassion for all the suffering out there. But on the other hand I don't wanna be affected by this, because it makes me sad. It makes me so sad that I cry. And I cry a lot. Not only because of sad things. This is another social conditioning. I cry because I am alive. It's a nice feeling to wash away the pain, to wash away all the negative thoughts. And then I come back to my centre and start to laugh. And then the crying is the most beautiful thing I can imagine in this moment. 

There is so much hate and coldhearted behaviour out there, that I just have to close my mind from this. And I don't give a fuck about all the people out there who want to make me feel guilty, because I don't vote or watch the news. I don't wanna feel guilty, because people told me so. That's past. I don't wanna get affected by so much pain and hate out there. This is why I escaped from the comfort zone. This is why I wanted to travel the world. And it's not a gap year or whatever the CEOs wanna call it in the job interviews. My whole life is a gap. It's a gap between social conditionings and just being. Get married, get children, bla bla bla. Maybe I'm interested in this one day, who knows? But I will not marry, because some family asks me for this. I have to create my own reality, because in otherwise I will just fall apart under this pressure. 

I am too sensitive for this world. I am too smart for this fake shit. I just wanna sit somewhere on a big meadow and watch the birds flying synchronous. I'm just satisfied by beauty. So I'm gonna create beauty in all my life. And I start with myself. You always have to start with yourself first. There is nothing selfish or egoistical about it. You come to this world alone and you will leave it alone. And in between you have the possibility to meet people. You can connect with them. And you can learn from them. This is why we are here. We are just here to learn. Learning never ends. And since I left school I'm so fucking aware of learning. I never learnt more than this year. Since I graduated I learnt more than in these thirteen years of education how they call it. We don't need no education. We don't need no thought control. 

I think we just have to rescue ourselves to start living. There is no one who waits for you to rescue you. It's all about you. This world is so amazingly beautiful that I sometimes have to cry when I wake up and I hear the birds singing. I could actually cry the whole day, because I just realise how fucking beautiful this planet is. Or what we still have left before it's all destroyed. Since I am vegan I feel so much compassion for so many small things. I am aware of so much more beauty than I ever saw before. I soak up the sweet smell of all these blossom beauties out there. This world is so beautiful. So fucking beautiful. 

I wanna help people as a way to work on myself and I wanna work on myself to help people. That's what the emerging game is all about. It's so hard to believe that we eat so many lies when our hearts are hungry. We just swallow everything. We just wanna push our ego to feel well. It's normal that we all wanna be seen and heard, but how could we become so fake? I mean, we are born to live. We are born to explore. We are not born just to die. And we are not born to put so much energy in hate and to fight against each other. What would you think about the compassion challenge? We just go around and hug people or we just ask them how they feel and wanna talk about the things that they have in their heads. And when we finish speaking out what holds us back we feel so much lighter. Get rid of all these burdens. It's too hard if you focus on the others. Focus on yourself. And when you realise the change you automatically start to realise about the beauty out there. Well, this whole "come to earth and pretend to be human" thing turned out to be harder than I thought. But everything that you are going through now is preparing you for what you asked for. Don't worry 'bout a thing, 'cause every little thing gonna be alright. 

Enjoy the beauty. Enjoy life. Enjoy your body. You may hate it or love it, but it's yours for the entire time you are here. So accept it. You are here to learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called "LIFE". You have the opportunities to learn lessons. They are specific for you. Just for you. They are the keys to discover the personal meaning of your life. And stop saying mistakes. There are no mistakes. Life is happening. You don't have any control in life. It's nice to think that it would be like this, but it's not. Never a failure, always a lesson. Just for you. And a lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learnt it. Once you have learnt it, you can move on to the next lesson. They will be repeated as often as needed. Sometimes you need years to learn a lesson and sometimes it just takes a few seconds. But the most interesting thing is, that learning never ends. Because if you are alive, there are lessons to be learnt. And please accept that you can not focus on "in ten years I'm finally happy, because..." - that's bullshit. Learn to appreciate what you have in that present moment. In exactly that moment you read this. And appreciate where you are on your journey. Life is just a beautiful journey. In this journey we meet people. And they are not sent in our life just by accident. They are here for a reason. Others are merely mirrors of you. You can just not love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something to you that you love or hate about yourself. Think about this. It's up to you what you make out of your life. We have all the same resources and tools. Everyone. Every human being is the same. There are just some small rules that you have to follow. The rules of mother nature. 

All the answers you are searching for your whole life lie deep inside of you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust. Trust in the universe. Trust in yourself. You are the universe. And the universe is you. We are all the same. We are all one. And we will forget everything we learnt at birth. And then we have to start again. Again and again. And again. 

Enjoy your life. Enjoy the beauty. Enjoy the world. Enjoy yourself. And enjoy the others. 

I love you, I really really love you with all my heart.