Like a River

There is nothing better than awareness. There is nothing in this world that gives me more joy than an insight moment. It's like a special biochemical reaction that creates this special feeling in your gut. It's like there is no gravity for a few seconds. Everything hangs loose and you feel like you are floating through your thoughts. And you can connect the puzzle a bit more. All the little picutures that are just fractures of the life you may live. They come in different sizes and in different shapes and even the colours are different. Some are pretty intensive and light and some are dark and misty and you think that it could be a night sky or a deep blue water or just the zoom in on a black shirt. It's all about the context. And all the fractures are like a river. The river connects all the small islands of thoughts. And this creates the map of our own life. 

Without water there would be no life at all. Everything arises from the water. We are made out of water. Everything in this Universe we know needs water to grow. It needs different amounts of water in different stages of growth. Sometimes I think that we ourselves are the water. We are all like flowers or trees. Just something natural that needs nutrition to survive. It's pretty funny that we mostly see ourselves seperated from the world, from the others. There is no seperation. It's all one. I am like a river. I just flow. I flow through life. I arise completely new every morning and see what the weather says. Then I start flowing and continue the whole day. And the more I become aware of this natural process of flowing the more everything flows with me. 

My life feels so much better and I can give it a kind of sense since I am practising gratitude. There is so much dogma in this world that I was forced to create my own. Sorry not sorry, but you can't sit with me if you just have an opinion to your own way of living. There are as many ways of living on this Earth as there are Earthlings. Every moment is unique because it can never happen like this again. Everything that we create is unique. You can try to copy something or someone but it will just end up in another way of a thing you already saw. This is why we need to use our hearts instead of our minds. The mind is limited. The heart is endless. This is why the ancient Egypts took out the brain after the death but let in the heart for the journey to continue with a good and pure heart. Because we are infinite energy living in eternity. We are just transforming. It's actually like a cancer. Because a cancer cell once was a cell like every other in the body but it decided to change. And it's a beautiful thing that a mutation like this is possible at all. Just the rest of the body is mostly not comfortable with it because it bothers the plan. 

What if everything comes true? What if all your dreams become real? What if you can wish for everything you can imagine in this life and the only condition you have to hold is to patiently wait for the dream come true? What if I would tell you that I am the proof for this? That I am the cancer cell mutating, growing and evolving basically because I live my dreams? Because I escaped from the preconceived system I thought we live in. I don't listen to the words of stupid people anymore and I don't wanna be told what to do in this life. Because it's fucking locigal. Man I just wanna experience it and not listen to your words to be safe. And you know what? The words you speak are just a repetition of what you already heard. You can never tell someone something new. It's like that. You can just listen carefully to others and combine their words with yours so that you can enlarge your mind palace.

Reflecting this year - everything came true! I never wished exactly to work as a temporary tattoo artist on the hippie market in Ibiza but I asked the Universe for a well-paid job in the nature where I could wear a bikini and glitter all day and best I could drink and smoke weed next to it. Just a fun thing where someone just pays me for spreading good vibes. It happened. So I never asked the Universe to travel to Thailand to meet a special health coach and learn the most incredible way of living by a plant based diet. I just asked the Universe to finally become vegan and stick to it. And after India I had no fucking idea what to do next. I was struggling with it for a few times. But then I rememered what happened the rest of the year and I just trusted the process again. So I spontaneously booked a flight to Berlin. Without knowing where to live or how to afford my life. And do you know what? It's christmas while you are all with your families, going to church, eating too much tortued animals and receiving materialistic shit you actually don't need while I am laying alone in bed in my own flat with the laptop on my blanket writing my story. And I never asked for this. I just asked the Universe for a chill time in a cozy space. So I found a place to stay and two jobs in five days. And in these five days I've been partying two nights. 

So do you understand what I try to explain to you? The Universe always knows you better than you will ever do in your physical time on Earth. Because the energy of Mother Earth is divine. It will serve you just what you deserve and what you can take at the certain stage of your journey. So how can you ask for ridiculous much money if you just go to pay shit with it? How can you ask for the love of your life if you are constanstly doing the same mistakes over and over again because you are not ready to see the signs yet? The Universe works super easily. It doesn't listen to words or religions. It just understands energy. So if you really wish for something you think you can not live without in this life - put all your energy to it. Write it down as detailed as you can imagine it. All the energy you will spread out in this moment will be transmitted to the highest high. Your thoughts are electromagnetic frequencies. And they will arrive at the right place in the right time. 

The Universe is even too perfect to imagine. You can not think about all the love and abundance you already received in your life while thinking about the fact that everything for every human being on this planet is so perfectly synchronized. But something that we in our modern society cannot really do well is to wait. Have patience. Because the Universe will pick the exact perfect timing when the time is fucking perfect. Not one second earlier and not two days later. Just when the stars are aligned and the soul is ready to accept the gift. And this is what I learned this year while traveling. You can ask for anything you want, you should dare to ask for fucking everything that makes you happy! Just be patient. And - last but not least - be fucking ready to receive it. Because sometimes the Universe will present it to you in a different appearance that you imagined and you are blind to see it. So you go away and get confused and disappointed. This was a test. And you failed. 

See everything as it would just happen to you. Because if everyone sees it like this we can all see the great pattern of synchronization again. The reason why we are on Earth is just to connect. So when you walk down the street and you see people and you see clouds and you watch someone smoking at the window in the thirteenth level just accept it as a message to you. A message from the Universe. Because we might all see the same clouds at the sky but actually not because it's depending on our level of consciousness and the way we perceive the world. This is why you are just meeting people who are on the same level of consciousness that you are. You can just ask to meet a person as deep as you already met yourself. Think about it. 

I have so much time to think at the moment. And I asked for it. I wanted to press the reset button. I wanted to start over again. And I wanted to lose some shit on the way. It all happened. I could barely try to sum up this year for me but words are so random. If this year was the first book I ever wrote I would call it: The creation of sacred wisdom 

This was the first year of my life where I really said fuck you to some people and didn't listen to their bullshit anymore. Because as an empath I just take everything personally and that affects me often too negative. I am sensitive. And I am proud of this. Because living in a world where I didn't know where to fit in I transmuted all these vibes into light. I changed everything I could in a positive manner and the rest I just threw away. Transformation and growth is the only process we do in this life. And as long as we are alive there are lessons to be learned. Everything is possible. The only thing you have to do is to take fucking responsibility for yourself. Don't blame the others for shit. Start with yourself. See the other person as a mirror. And you know that you can only meet another one as deep as you already met yourself. Like a mirror. This is why the Universe incarnates your soul again and again. Because your soul homework was not fulfilled in your last life. So you get another chance. And as we as human beings are slowly awaiting a shift in humanity we should prepare ourselves for the next level: LOVE

Sometimes it feels so weird to me walking down the streets seeing people running in shops with discount signs. I mostly have to grin. This is why I love the winter. Because I can just wear so many clothes that you may just see my eyes looking through. My soul windows. This is the silent observer who is watching you. And nobody sees my big brin behind that wool scarf. You just perceive me as another woman walking down the streets wearing a dark blue coat and a big grey scarf. And it really fascinates me how many people are sleeping while they are walking. They are neither aware of their bodies nor are they aware of the other bodies. They just crash into someone because they were not observing their surrounding well enough. And then they are mad at each other because they want to blame someone. And then they struggle about it and the dust of negative dark energy is following them home. Well, actually there is no darkness in this world. I would rather call it the absence of light. Because we all come from the light to crawl through the darkness to finally go home to the light again. 

This human experience in general is the most incredible thing I could ever imagine. I am just so crazy in love with my life and with myself. Because I am awake and I am aware of my body and I see all the daily miracles. And this is just the start. This year was a fucking amazing teaser for the life I always imagined. And it came true. It's not about reaching 1000 followers on Instagram. It's about reaching the spiritual contact with your higher self. Because you enter this world alone and you will leave it alone again. And in between you should not always look for fun in the outside world. First you have to be aware of your soul and the beauty of your true self. And then suddenly you see beauty everywhere. It's the god particle we all have inside our hearts. It's a light. It's a candle. Enlighten it. And then see your flame grow. See your fire burn down the whole fucking forest!

Honestly, you received a body and inside your soul is constantly trying to talk to you. In the same language that you are already speaking. But you are ignoring it again and again. Because you don't want to face some things because you don't like them. Fuck it! Like it or not it's meant to you. This is your crazy destiny. I never chose something that happened in my life. I just accepted. And learnt to live with it. And transmuted it into light and love. And looking back I am super proud and happy with what I did in my life. Because without all these experiences I could not be the person I am now. And of course I hated myself. But this was all necessary. Everything I am going through is preparing me for what I asked for my whole life. That's the only reason why we are here. To help and guide each other through the hard times and thank each other in the good times. Life is just about living, enjoying, laughing, loving and being grateful for it. There is nothing to understand. You can just experience it. The only way to live is to live. 

Do whatever the fuck makes you happy. Do whatever the fuck your heart askes for. And do whatever the fuck feels electric. This is a sign of your soul trying to burst out. Your soul wants to be freed. Freed from desire. Because when you serve your soul an amazing time on this planet your spirit will continue after your physical disappearance and can help the next generation to see. Don't see yourself sepearted. See yourself as one part of the big plan. The plan may be just a little test expanding over million of light years. And at then end we will all sit together as beings of light and watch the big after movie while pouring champagne over the clouds. We are all stars. We are just mostly too shy to see this. I mean, this life is unbelievable. It's just funny when you finally wake up and see everything that is fake. You know? I mean, you can still lie to me and think that I am believing in you, but I speak the first language of energy and your vibe tells me a thousand times more than your sentences. You cannot fool me any longer. And this is because I cannot fool myself any longer. 

This year I started to take responsibility for myself and begun to be fucking honest to myself in every way. A miracle happened. I became more and more aware of my soul living in this beautiful body born in Germany with the desire to gain the meaning of life. I found it in myself. Because I am the micro cosmos in the macro cosmos. As well as every cell in my body is an own micro cosmos in my whole body called macro cosmos. As above so below. There is not a single seperation in life. There is just connection. And this is the most beautiful thing I ever experienced. That life is a living connection of beings. Connected above while seperated below. Like trees. Like a natural network of consciousness. Expanding sacred widsom of consciousness. We are transmuting it over generations and serving the next generation therefore. Because we will be able to come again if we do well in our life. And for me this is a great motivation! 

2017 - you were fucking overwealming! You brought me insights I could never ever think of at the beginning of this year. I was so full of anxiety and depression at the start of my journey. And looking back now I am the young girl I always wanted to be. I am growing. It feels like my body is getting younger and I am able to be the child again that I once was while the inside, my serenity, my soul, is maturing as crazy. I know that there will never be enough human words to thank you, dear Universe, but you and I know that you get all the energy while I am writing this. Like a meditation. My spine is awake and I am serving my sacred wisdom energy down out of my root chakra to the ground of this Earth to nourish the planet with it. And while I am running the energy you are serving me new fresh energy from the cosmos to free my mind and help me seeing through my heart. 

I am so fucking grateful that I have to cry so many times out of joy. I really can't believe what you showed me this year. I am getting a little melancolic because people put much weight on the day of New Year's. I mean, time is an illusion but still I have the same feeling. Maybe it's because I soak up all the other people's energy and getting an empathic feeling of what most of the humans do in our world. I don't know. And I don't wanna know. I just wanna live. And I do. I am so endlessly thankful for this year. Dear Universe, serving me the Law of Attraction was the best thing that could happen to me. It's like I had a test year to be able to feel gratitude and happiness on a completely different stage. I wanna say thank you to all the beautiful souls I met while traveling. I hope some of you are reading this right know and grinning because they just know that I talk about them. You inspired me so much. Because of you I was able to open up my heart to the sky and let the love overflow. Like a river. 

Life is like a river. So am I. Just flowing. Sometimes there are stones, some are bigger some are smaller, but the upstacles are signs from the Universe to be more aware of something. And if you don't wanna learn the Universe will hurt you. Because pain is the only energy that is almost as intensive as love. This is why you have to experience much pain in your life to be able to live a life full of love. You can just know how deep you can feel if it started in the so called wrong way. It's the journey itself. And once you are aware of this you can transmute everything into love and light. And then you just shine. Like a being of light. Like a star wrapped in skin. Like a river. Move your body to the vibe of your heart. Just in movement you can feel your body. Try everything that scares you. Because this is the calling of your soul to experience something divine. Fear is an illusion. It's a man-made concept living like a tumor in your head to withdraw and abstract you from the beautiful life you could live.

I guess at the end of this year we should imagine ourselves as 80 year olds laying in a hospital bed in rest home regretting things we never did. Life is too short to waste it. There is so much to explore and so much to experience. Try it! See life like a treasure hunt. Like a wild map of joy. See life like a great playground. Fly like a bee from one flower to another and taste the sweet nectar of everyone. Connect with your higher self and be grateful. Be present in the moment and take your own decisions. Decide and live with it. And be happy that you decided yourself. Be grateful. Go with the flow. It's so much easier. Go with the flow and see how everything falls into part with a perfect timing. Like a river. You just continue flowing. 

Thank you so much for reading this very special and personal letter to the Universe. I am grateful for so many things that I will continue to thank for it in my heart because the list is endless. Gratitude is the only way to give something back to this world. Because the love will always find its way into your life. Love will always be the answer. It always was and it will always be. Fuck Christmas! Fuck New Year's Eve! Fuck society! Life is infinite. Your journey is endless. Your being is immortal. Thank you for listening - it means the world to me. I really fucking love you. 

And now go enjoy your life, baby!